"Yessir, I Like It!"

          Did you know that the Internet has rules? Oh yeah, they exist. For example, Rule 63 states "For any given male character, there is a female version of that character." 

         Y'know something?! I love Rule 63!

(Via Urban Dictionary)

"The Expendables II" Trailer Just Kicked My Ass!

          When you were a kid, did you ever think of how freakin' awesome it would be like if Rambo, the Universal Soldier, John McClane, the Terminator and Walker, Texas Ranger were in a movie together?! Well, wonder no longer and behold the trailer for just such a movie, that contains more testosterone and awesome-ness than any such movie has a right to!



          I'm not ashamed to say I shed a tear of joy when I watched this. Just saying. I can also say that my father (God rest his soul) would've been in line IN FRONT of me at the theatre when this manliest of movies opens on August 17th this fall.

(Via Nerd Bastards)

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me?!

          Really? A 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' porn parody movie?! You know, whoever said there was "no original ideas in Hollywood any more", clearly never thought to apply that to the adult film industry. I will admit the casting of Lexi Belle as Buffy is nicely done. Seriously though, what next?! Ex-WWE Superstar Chyna playing She-Hulk in an 'Avengers' porn parody?



          ......there are some things you just can't unsee.

(Via io9.com)

Video of the Day: "My Kind of Disney!"

         You know, if Disney actually made films like this, I'd give the 'House of Mouse' more of my money! Just saying.

(Via College Humor on YouTube)

"Knowing Is Half The Battle.... The Other Half Is Status Updates"

          So, say you like Facebook. Status updates, Farmville, etc. And let's also say you like G.I. Joe. Tricked out war machines, red & blue lasers AND king pimp Destro! Seriously, even his action figure has swagger.

          Well, come the beginning of June, you can get those two great tastes together in a new online game called "G.I. Joe. Special Ops". Available on Facebook & SyFy Games (syfygames.com/gijoe), 'Special Ops' is an arena based online game where you fans of the 'Real American Hero' (I include myself among you) can join up with the Joes or COBRA and create the sort of fan battles you never got to see in the cartoon, with access to many of the characters & vehicles from the franchise's 25+ years history.




          Goddamn, but I miss the 80s, where you solve any problem with explosions and red/blue lasers!

(Via Forces of Geek)

"It's 3 AM. Do You Know What's In Your Xbox?!"

         For those that came in late, I work in an off-sale 'til the wee hours of the morning.  And after a hard evenings work, and depending on the intellectual level of the patrons I've served (believe me, stupid people drink A LOT), I need the proper tool to unwind. Sometimes, it's a good book. Sometimes, it's a 5 inch high pile of comics. Occasionally, it's a stiff drink. Actually, it's more like a few, but I'm getting off topic.

          However, most of the time, nothing satisfies more than rocking out on my Xbox 360 with my copy of "Borderlands", the purest distillation of everything I have ever wanted in a First Person Shooter.  And what I mean by that is I wanted to be outfitted with as many things that 'make BOOM' in as many different ways as possible.

          Shotguns, rocket launchers and machine guns, OH MY! You got lightning guns, acid rocket launchers and sniper rifles that can set you on fire. You can even get grenades that stick themselves to enemies and go BOOM or fly into the air and rain more BOOM down on some masked berserker or they cover attacking axe-wielding maniacs in what appears to be the same acid that melted that dude in "Robocop". You know what I'm talking about.

         So, yeah. I have a lot of pent up aggression. At least I have found an outlet. It was either this or go back to plotting world domination. I figure the lesser of two evils won.

Coming Soon!!

        Coming soon, the reboot of 'Authentic Geek'!  Sooner than you think and later that I would have liked. Geez, I gotta' stop drinking! New posts, new podcasts and world domination for all! Won't that be nice?!