It's too horrible to even imagine, but I am going to say the words anyhow: Warner Bros. has made a CGI 'Yogi Bear' movie, with Dan Ackroyd as Yogi and Justin Timberlake as Boo Boo.
..... words fail me. I just cannot accurately describe how I feel at this mockery of one of the greatest classic cartoons of all time and one of the cartoons that I can always count on to cheer me up when I am feeling a little bit blue. If, at any time I am viewing this piece of cinematic waste, I am sure to be in the middle of an exceedingly long and drawn out drinking binge.
Can you just imagine the amount of tequila necessary for me to willingly want to watch this? Just the thought of it makes me cringe.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Starcraft II - Wings of Liberty Arrives or "IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!"
Finally, after all this time, after all the waiting, "Starcraft II" has finally arrived in the stores! I can't wait until I get the money for it. I can't wait. I just have to check my PC's specs.
....checking
....checking
....checking
Okay, the sound card is good, I got enough RAM and the processor is just dandy! Let's check the graphics card, shall we?!
....checking
....checking
GODDAMNIT, I don't even meet the bare minimum graphic card specifications for this beautiful game!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
'Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions' Spans Spidey's Animated History or "A Super-hero With Multiple Personality Disorder"
"Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions" is the upcoming video game that is said to Marvel Comics' own version of "Arkham Asylum". The game features one of the coolest story premises I have ever heard of, in that you play as different versions of Spider-man, from some of the more popular alternate universes in the Marvel U. And that's not the best part! Each Spider-man will be voiced by a man who has voiced Spidey in one his many animated series.
Neil Patrick Harris, who voiced the Web Slinger in the movie inspired MTV series, will voice the "Amazing Spider-man", the traditional Spider-man we all know and love.
Pictured here is "Spider-man Noir", from Marvel's Earth 7207, where Marvel characters exist as 1930's pulp inspired heroes. He will be voiced by Christopher Daniel Barnes, who voiced Spider-man in the animated series that ran on FOX Kids from 1994 to 1998.
Dan Gilvezan, who voiced Peter Parker/Spider-man in the popular '80s series, "Spider-man and His Amazing Friends", will voice Spider-man 2099 (which is a really under-appreciated comic series). And another interesting fact, Gilvezan also voiced Bumblebee in the '80s "Transformers" animated series.
Ultimate Spider-man, wearing the Venom symbiote, is going to be voiced by Josh Keaton, who voice the Wall-Crawler in the latest series, "The Spectacular Spider-man", which ran on the CW network in 2008.
All this and Stan "The Man" Lee narrating the whole game, ala his voice work in several Marvel animated series of the '70s and '80s.
Two words: 'HELL' and 'YEAH'. Another game for the Christmas wish list!!
Monday, July 26, 2010
First Image Of New Godzilla or "Now THAT'S What I'm Talking About!"
Last week at the San Diego Comic Con, fans that were the Legendary Pictures booth had the opportunity to see the first official image of Warner Bors./Legendary Pictures re-make of 'Godzilla'! Emblazoned on a t-shirt that works in part with the 'Augmented Reality' phenomenon was an production image of Godzilla, standing in the ruins of a decimated city and getting ready to unleash the worst case of morning breath (his atomic fire blast) ever seen!
THIS is what the King of All Monsters is supposed to look like, not a mutated iguana from the French Polynesian islands!
The new 'Godzilla' is slated to hit the silver screen sometime in 2012. Until then, here's some for the Godzilla fans out there.....
THIS is what the King of All Monsters is supposed to look like, not a mutated iguana from the French Polynesian islands!
The new 'Godzilla' is slated to hit the silver screen sometime in 2012. Until then, here's some for the Godzilla fans out there.....
New 'Avatar' Animated Series Coming or "There Shall Be Another...."
I can't believe I missed this lil' tidbit last week, but such is life. "Avatar - The Last Airbender", one of the best animated series of the last 5 years, is getting a sequel series entitled "Avatar - The Legend of Korra".
The new series, set decades after the adventures of Aang and company, will follow the new female Avatar as she completes her training under Aang's son, while fighting crime and an anti-bending movement in Republic City.
One word: SWEEEEEET!!!
(Via Topless Robot)
The new series, set decades after the adventures of Aang and company, will follow the new female Avatar as she completes her training under Aang's son, while fighting crime and an anti-bending movement in Republic City.
One word: SWEEEEEET!!!
(Via Topless Robot)
Video of the Day: Bruce Willis Being A Bad-Ass in 'RED'
Here's the trailer for the upcoming movie, 'RED', based on the comic book published by DC Comics imprint, Homage. The trailer has two things that make me want to see this movie: John Malkovich and Bruce Willis being complete bad-asses! Watch and you'll see what I mean!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Man-Made Robot Arms or "You Can Be 'Mr. Roboto' In Your Neighbourhood"
Are you a fan of giant robots? Have you ever looked at Voltron and thought to yourself, 'I sure would like to have arms like that', minus the lion heads? Well, worry no longer! For the low price of $85 (and whatever is left of your dignity), you can fulfill your heart's desire! Easily collapsible for storage and travel, the "Giant Robot Cardboard Arms" are perfect for those last minute anime conventions and cosplay parties!
No more will people mock you for your love of discussing both dungeons AND dragons. Not when you're sporting these babies! They'll mock your love of autonomous robots from another world. Just remember these two things: 1) these will not increase your strength by any factor of awesome and 2) if you see someone carrying a Zippo and you smell lighter fluid, RUN!!! Run for your life, you half-a-GoBot!
(Etsy.com via Geekologie!)
San Diego Comic Con 2010: Pirates of the Carribean 4 Update or "Captain Jack Says Hello"
Captain Jack Sparrow stopped by the San Diego Comic Con to drop a little info about what he's been up to lately and what we can expect in the upcoming 'Pirates of the Carribean' sequel. Let's listen in, shall we?
So, we can expect zombies, mermaids and Penelope Cruz? Sure was nice that he was up front about that. And offering to buy drinks for the whole crew? Best boss EVER!
(Via ComingSoon.net)
So, we can expect zombies, mermaids and Penelope Cruz? Sure was nice that he was up front about that. And offering to buy drinks for the whole crew? Best boss EVER!
(Via ComingSoon.net)
Star Wars Nerd Robs Bank or "How Do You Think They Financed The Death Star?"
Yesterday, a man, presumed to be THE Darth Vader, robbed a Long Island Chase Meridian bank branch. Instead of using his Force lightning or choking someone with his mind, he pulled a hand gun and demanded cash from the teller. He was described as being approx. 6 feet tall, wearing cargo pants and his mug shot looks something like this:
Police have no leads at this time but they are consulting with the Rebel Alliance. Do not approach him if you see him. He will force choke anyone who approaches him or doubts his sorcerous ways and his devotion to that ancient religion.
See? Told ya!
(Via The News Chronicle via StumbleUpon)
Police have no leads at this time but they are consulting with the Rebel Alliance. Do not approach him if you see him. He will force choke anyone who approaches him or doubts his sorcerous ways and his devotion to that ancient religion.
See? Told ya!
(Via The News Chronicle via StumbleUpon)
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Video of the Day: "Gatchaman" CGI Trailer
Imagi Studios, the production company that brought us the 2007 CGI "TMNT" film, made this trailer for a proposed "Gatchman/Battle of the Planets" computer animated movie. Based on the classic anime "Science Ninja Team Gatchaman" of the late '70s and early '80s, it follows the adventures of a team of 5 genetically altered orphans who wage a battle against the forces of Spectra, an alien race seeking to take over Earth. So, basically it's "5 teenagers with attitudes" fighting space aliens WAY before the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers ever did. Imagi Studios is in a weird place right now. While their Los Angeles production offices are closed, various websites report the film is still on schedule to open in 2011.
God, I hope the film does get released because that animation looks SOOOOOO good! It would be a crying shame if this doesn't get released at all!
God, I hope the film does get released because that animation looks SOOOOOO good! It would be a crying shame if this doesn't get released at all!
First Look At 'Green Lantern' Movie Costume or "Close, Not Quite, But Close"
There ya' go! Your first look at Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan, Green Lantern of Space Sector 2814.
Whatcha' think?!
That's right, it doesn't look any thing like the comics. Not that we could have expected them to "actually" make it look like the comic. And I know they probably want to make it look all 'sci-fi' and 'organic' and what not. And I also know that in the comics, not every Green Lantern has the same union suit.
I'm not saying I hate it. Not in the least. I am reserving judgement until I see the trailer. I suppose I should be grateful they didn't base the design of Guy Gardner's GL uniform, which has my vote for "Worst Costume Ever". Well, it's tied with the 'Road Warrior' armor the Mighty Thor sported for awhile in the late '90s.
(Via SuperHeroHype)
Maggie Q To Star In New 'Nikita" Series or "No Bond Girl Ever Looked This Fine"
You've seen her before, kicking John McClane's butt in "Live Free or Die Hard" and playing a spy along side Tom Cruise in "MI 3". And now Maggie Q is coming to TV in 'Nikita', the second TV series based on the 1990 French film of the same name. Which is kind of weird, considering the Peta Wilson starring 'La Femme Nikita' series has only been off the air for 9 years. However, The CW network really wants to bring the female viewers with a TV series that has a strong female lead.
Previously, the CW revamped two other popular '90s TV series, "Melrose Place" (it got cancelled) and "90210" (it's going into it's 3rd season). So I'm going to lay odds 3 - 1 that 'Nikita' makes it to Season 2. Any takers? Of course, I'll be happy so long as Peta Wilson (who played Nikita in the previous series) gets her obligatory cameo.
That's right. I said it.
'Obligatory'.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Video of the Day X 2: "Sharktopus" and "The GOON" Trailers
Today's 'VotD' is a two'fer, because I love you all so much!!!
First, we have the trailer for the upcoming SyFy movie-of-the-week, "Sharktopus"! It's about a man-made mutant that's half shark and half octopus (duh!) that goes on a rampage near a resort/beach town. Has this plot been done to death in a million other movies? YES! Could they have come up with a better name? YES! Is this going to stop me gleefully giggling like a 10 year old when I watch it? Aw Hell NO! I love me some 'creature feature' movies and this looks to be right up my alley!
Then, we have the first look from the CGI animated film of the Dark Horse comic book series, "The GOON". The film will be adapting the popular series that follows the mis-adventures of the titular character and his side kick, Franky, as they try to make a few bucks while dealing with the slack jaw (meaning zombie) army of the Priest, a voodoo practitioner trying to take over their town. The Goon will be voiced by veteran voice actor Clancy Brown (Lex Luthor on 'Superman TAS' and Mr. Crabs on 'Spongebob Squarepants') and Franky will be done by the delightfully manic Paul Giamatti. OOOhhh, this is gonna' be good!!
First, we have the trailer for the upcoming SyFy movie-of-the-week, "Sharktopus"! It's about a man-made mutant that's half shark and half octopus (duh!) that goes on a rampage near a resort/beach town. Has this plot been done to death in a million other movies? YES! Could they have come up with a better name? YES! Is this going to stop me gleefully giggling like a 10 year old when I watch it? Aw Hell NO! I love me some 'creature feature' movies and this looks to be right up my alley!
Then, we have the first look from the CGI animated film of the Dark Horse comic book series, "The GOON". The film will be adapting the popular series that follows the mis-adventures of the titular character and his side kick, Franky, as they try to make a few bucks while dealing with the slack jaw (meaning zombie) army of the Priest, a voodoo practitioner trying to take over their town. The Goon will be voiced by veteran voice actor Clancy Brown (Lex Luthor on 'Superman TAS' and Mr. Crabs on 'Spongebob Squarepants') and Franky will be done by the delightfully manic Paul Giamatti. OOOhhh, this is gonna' be good!!
New CGI 'Looney Tines' Are Coming or "ACME Heads Into The 3rd Dimension"
Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, the Tazmanian Devil and all the rest of the Looney Tunes gang are coming back to TV in wonderous CGI! Look at those crisp, clean lines. Those brilliant, vibrant colors! Those ... those... uh .... Oh, who am I trying to kid? If anyone thinks these new "Looney Tunes" cartoons are going to do HALF as well as the originals, they are living in a fantasy world of rainbows, unicorns and clouds made of candy!
** deep breath **
Okay. I'm good. Watch the new series if you want. I'm going to keep watching the classics because nothing, and I mean NOTHING, beats Mel Blanc voicing that 'wascally wabbit'!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Video of the Day: Robert Burden's 'Star Wars' Phase
Robert Burden is back, this time with a 'Star Wars' themed portrait of Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and a Tauntaun from the beginning of "The Empire Strikes Back".
If I had a fireplace, I'd hang this picture over it and class up my place a little bit.
If I had a fireplace, I'd hang this picture over it and class up my place a little bit.
Japanese-Invented Watermelon Cooler or "When You Absolutely, Positively Have To Have It With You!"
I have seen some weird stuff from Japan in my time, some truly bizarre anime mostly, but this takes the cake! Looking at it, I can't help but wonder if this is the precursor to the technology that keeps a person's head alive, like in "Futurama"!
The conversation that lead to this device's creation probably went something like this:
Scientist #1: "Hey, you know what the world needs? A portable melon cooler!"
Scientist #2: "Really?! How many years of education and THIS crap is what you come up with?!"
Scientist #1: "Damn it all, man, this is not 'crap'. This is SCIENCE!!"
(Via Gizmodo)
Monday, July 19, 2010
How the Doctor Won the Battle but Lost the War
Hiah Authentic Geeks, it's definitely been a while since I posted, but I've got a doosie for ya so hopefully that makes up for it. Sorry if the length offends some too, but this is a geeky rant that is very close to my heart and I hope it gets you thinking...
I will preface this post as any fan-boy turned critic must by first stating my undying love of all things Doctor Who. I am one of the lucky few Canadian children who grew up with an appreciation of Doctor Who because YTV began to air re-runs of the classic British Sci-Fi TV show in 1989 when I was just six years old! That's right, I actually got to grow up with Who from the first Doctor onwards, just like the British television fans who tuned into the first episode back on that fateful evening in November 1963 and were hooked from then on.
That's why it is so hard for me to turn a critical eye on something that I love so much. Part of me is just so happy to see one of my favourite shows still being produced and having this amazing television legacy come to its fruition as we come closer and closer to a 12th Doctor. But it pains me so much more to see such a beloved story series from my childhood have so much potential and yet fall so short; and I cannot be silent any more.
The first season of the “new series” of Doctor Who started in 2004 after an 8 year hiatus; and while it was considered to be a re-launch of the television series, it kept the continuity of the old series maintaining that a lot of time had passed for the Doctor and the past years had not been kind to him. He'd even regenerated since we saw him last.
This new series was AMAZING!!! It took all the potential that the missing years offered and delivered up a delicious array of mystery, back-story, and character motivation that was brilliantly revealed piece by piece by the series head-writer Russle T. Davies and expertly realised by the amazing Christopher Eccleston. Eccleston did a masterful job bringing the 9th Doctor to life; he was brilliant, intelligent, obnoxious, and care free all at the same time while still retaining a dark edge that the terrible events of recent years had laid upon the Doctor. The Doctor was still the happy-go-lucky care taker of the Universe that we all knew loved, but now he was scarred by a decision he was forced to make at the end of a terrible war between the Time Lords and the Daleks that ultimately destroyed both races, but restored balance to the universe; a responsibility he never wanted and tried desperately to avoid.
The season was built up of a series of wonderfully imagined and expertly crafted episodes that were a mix of new science fiction elements and nostalgic nods to fan favourites; like the perfectly wrought, yet terribly named, sixth episode: “Dalek”, which ruined a lovely mid-episode surprise reveal, but reintroduced the murderous cyborg (NOT ROBOT) alien killing machines from the original series with the advent of CG effects that elevated the monster to new heights of terror.
The new series also did a wonderful job of balancing weekly two-part stories with a larger sub-plot that wove it's way through the whole season. Each individual episode was peppered with little hidden messages written on walls in the backs of scenes or whispered by passers by, all referring to some “Bad Wolf” and the possible end of time. As the series progressed it logically built to a climax at the end of the season with Bad Wolf revealing itself as a new species of Dalek that had survived the Time War and were going to destroy Earth, the Doctor's favourite planet, in revenge since the Time Lords and Gallifrey were destroyed in the Time War. Wonderful! This leaves the Doctor with the agonizing realisation that he may have to repeat the devastating actions that destroyed the Daleks in the first Time War; Awesome! This could be the perfect ending to an amazing relaunch of a classic science fiction series!!!
Unfortunately, this was not to be the case; and the weak ending of the first series was an unwelcome first sign of the terrible writing to come.
So what do you do when you have the Doctor forced to enact Genocide upon a destructive species? Do you have him make a better, different decision that could not only save the day but possibly offer redemption to the Doctor from his actions in the first Time War? No. You injure the Doctor, have the T.A.R.D.I.S. Magically posses Rose who then shoots light out of her eyes, sucks the Daleks into a black whole, and heals the Doctor causing him to regenerate in the most hopelessly “deus ex machina” ending possible.
“What's a 'deus ex machina' ending?” you ask, and “why is that so terrible?” Well, “deus ex machina” is a Latin phrase which roughly translates to “god from the machine” or can be better understood as “god that we make”. It's a literary phrase used whenever plot devices or characters explode into a story with no explanation, seemingly dropped out of the sky from a higher power because it needed to; because the story needs to end a certain way and this is the only way the writer can think of to end things, and frankly, it is just plain LAZY WRITING! How can the T.A.R.D.I.S. infuse it's essence into Rose? Why did it need to? When have we seen the T.A.R.D.I.S. do ANYTHING even REMOTELY similar to this in the entire run of Doctor Who? Why couldn't the Doctor do something like whip up a worm-whole that sucked up the Daleks and dropped them on the other side of the Universe keeping them alive but far away from other living things letting the Doctor keep an eye on them so they don't become a problem again; showing that the Doctor has a greater respect for life after making a bad decision that sacrificed two entire civilizations. But no, we have magic Rose and light-up eye effects and the Doctor regenerates and everyone is happy! BLECH
But all in all, I still loved the first series. We saw the 9th Doctor die in only one season, and trust me Christopher Eccleston could have done way more seasons; but I'm okay with it. The death of the 9th Doctor made sense, he was hurt, emotionally wounded, and very very tired. He'd lived through far more pain and toil than he ever thought he would and it totally made sense that he needed to regenerate. The character interactions with the new companion Rose were also very fresh and innovative. We've seen the Doctor pass through so many different companions over the years, but Rose was the first one that he fell in love with. We saw the reluctance of the Doctor to get close to anyone because of who he is and the terrible things he has done, but we felt the unavoidable connection between the two that inevitably drew them together.
We also watched as Rose had to contend with being split between her new love for the Doctor and the love she was sharing with a human boyfriend Mickey that she met before the Doctor. It was a sappy romantic triangle, but it was real, it was handled with grace and it didn't feel like an episode of 90210. It was grand! It was well crafted story telling that not only thrilled and entertained, but had a depth of humanity and emotion that gave the stories gravitas and elevated it beyond the typical science fiction television show...even despite a deus ex machina ending.
But that's the problem with success I guess; because once you get things so right, where do you go from there? Do you expand upon what you have built in the first season and take the series in new and bizarre directions to delight and entertain? No, for you see the first series made money; and in this day and age, if you make money, you get repeated. Again, and again, and again, and again, until the audience can't take it anymore and slowly dwindles away into the nothingness of low ratings that got the show canceled in the early 90's.
Now don't get me wrong, the second series started off pretty well. Rose stayed around as a companion to the new Doctor and even tried to love him in the same way that she loved the last Doctor. But it wasn't the same, he was a different person now, and she was too attached to the man he used to be and things didn't work out perfectly and Rose got dropped into an alternate reality where she could never reach the Doctor again. It was sad, tragic even, but it worked. It was real, it was emotional and it should have ended that way...but of course Rose needed to come back for the climax of the fourth series, only to be banished back to the alternate universe, again, but this time with a human-clone of the Doctor to live with so she doesn't need to be sad...Aww, how cute! I'd try to explain the ridiculous deus ex machina nature of that plot line too, but there is no where near enough room in this article.
Then comes the climax of the second series where...gasp...an alien species from the Doctor's past (this time the Cybermen and the Daleks who have inexplicably come back to life) again threaten the entire fabric of reality until the Doctor shows up and saves the day by waving a magic wand that sucks all the bad guys into a black hole...and...wait...this seems exactly like the ending of the first series...(cause it is.)
Then comes the third series where...shocker...the Doctor picks up a sexy, young, female companion that falls in love with him while events in the real world build up to a climactic battle between an enemy from the Doctor's past (this time the Master) and when everything seems lost, the Doctor activates the latent psychic power of all humanity by getting every human in the world to concentrate and clap their hands and really truly believe in the Doctor so he can get magical powers to save the day; really, this is how the ending happened, Davies ripped off Tinkerbell :-(
Then the fourth series...do I really need to go into it? I will say that the fourth series ties together all the work that Davies did on the Doctor Who series bringing back old characters old monsters, and more fan favourites from the past...but that's kind of my point. There's nothing new here. Old characters, old stories, inexplicable endings that happen mostly “because they need to”. It all just reeks of what's been done before and makes for some incredibly disappointing television.
So now we get to the fifth series, a new Doctor, a new series head-writer, a new chance to wow me and reattach a cynic to his childhood love. But what's this? The Doctor has a new female companion? She falls in love with him? She has to choose between her old dusty lover on Earth and the fantastic shiny new galaxy-hopping intergalactic lover from the stars? I can't even force myself to watch this anymore. I don't need to see the Doctor stealing other guys girlfriends any more. The fifth series is done now and wow...surprise of surprises it all built up to some climactic ending with a surprise villain from the Doctor's past and is solved in a completely inexplicable manner by getting someone who lives near the cracks of time to remember him fondly at the right moment so the Universe pops him back into existence...yeah that sounds suitably stupid and delivered from the powers of a God the Doctor probably doesn't believe in...how else could this crapfest end?
My greatest fear is that this train of unoriginal, lazy will continue until the Doctor has worn out his 12th life and that's all she wrote folks. Which is sad, because there have been many GREAT episodes written by non-staff writers, episodes like Blink, which was a one-off story that not only used a new alien the Doctor had never fought before, but also used modern non-linear story telling techniques to deliver a time-spanning epic of horrific sci-fi greatness! If only the producers in charge of Doctor Who can get their hands on some creative talents like this and then maybe some originality will seep back into this amazingly long lived series and give it the ending it truly deserves!
I will preface this post as any fan-boy turned critic must by first stating my undying love of all things Doctor Who. I am one of the lucky few Canadian children who grew up with an appreciation of Doctor Who because YTV began to air re-runs of the classic British Sci-Fi TV show in 1989 when I was just six years old! That's right, I actually got to grow up with Who from the first Doctor onwards, just like the British television fans who tuned into the first episode back on that fateful evening in November 1963 and were hooked from then on.
That's why it is so hard for me to turn a critical eye on something that I love so much. Part of me is just so happy to see one of my favourite shows still being produced and having this amazing television legacy come to its fruition as we come closer and closer to a 12th Doctor. But it pains me so much more to see such a beloved story series from my childhood have so much potential and yet fall so short; and I cannot be silent any more.
The first season of the “new series” of Doctor Who started in 2004 after an 8 year hiatus; and while it was considered to be a re-launch of the television series, it kept the continuity of the old series maintaining that a lot of time had passed for the Doctor and the past years had not been kind to him. He'd even regenerated since we saw him last.
This new series was AMAZING!!! It took all the potential that the missing years offered and delivered up a delicious array of mystery, back-story, and character motivation that was brilliantly revealed piece by piece by the series head-writer Russle T. Davies and expertly realised by the amazing Christopher Eccleston. Eccleston did a masterful job bringing the 9th Doctor to life; he was brilliant, intelligent, obnoxious, and care free all at the same time while still retaining a dark edge that the terrible events of recent years had laid upon the Doctor. The Doctor was still the happy-go-lucky care taker of the Universe that we all knew loved, but now he was scarred by a decision he was forced to make at the end of a terrible war between the Time Lords and the Daleks that ultimately destroyed both races, but restored balance to the universe; a responsibility he never wanted and tried desperately to avoid.
The season was built up of a series of wonderfully imagined and expertly crafted episodes that were a mix of new science fiction elements and nostalgic nods to fan favourites; like the perfectly wrought, yet terribly named, sixth episode: “Dalek”, which ruined a lovely mid-episode surprise reveal, but reintroduced the murderous cyborg (NOT ROBOT) alien killing machines from the original series with the advent of CG effects that elevated the monster to new heights of terror.
The new series also did a wonderful job of balancing weekly two-part stories with a larger sub-plot that wove it's way through the whole season. Each individual episode was peppered with little hidden messages written on walls in the backs of scenes or whispered by passers by, all referring to some “Bad Wolf” and the possible end of time. As the series progressed it logically built to a climax at the end of the season with Bad Wolf revealing itself as a new species of Dalek that had survived the Time War and were going to destroy Earth, the Doctor's favourite planet, in revenge since the Time Lords and Gallifrey were destroyed in the Time War. Wonderful! This leaves the Doctor with the agonizing realisation that he may have to repeat the devastating actions that destroyed the Daleks in the first Time War; Awesome! This could be the perfect ending to an amazing relaunch of a classic science fiction series!!!
Unfortunately, this was not to be the case; and the weak ending of the first series was an unwelcome first sign of the terrible writing to come.
So what do you do when you have the Doctor forced to enact Genocide upon a destructive species? Do you have him make a better, different decision that could not only save the day but possibly offer redemption to the Doctor from his actions in the first Time War? No. You injure the Doctor, have the T.A.R.D.I.S. Magically posses Rose who then shoots light out of her eyes, sucks the Daleks into a black whole, and heals the Doctor causing him to regenerate in the most hopelessly “deus ex machina” ending possible.
“What's a 'deus ex machina' ending?” you ask, and “why is that so terrible?” Well, “deus ex machina” is a Latin phrase which roughly translates to “god from the machine” or can be better understood as “god that we make”. It's a literary phrase used whenever plot devices or characters explode into a story with no explanation, seemingly dropped out of the sky from a higher power because it needed to; because the story needs to end a certain way and this is the only way the writer can think of to end things, and frankly, it is just plain LAZY WRITING! How can the T.A.R.D.I.S. infuse it's essence into Rose? Why did it need to? When have we seen the T.A.R.D.I.S. do ANYTHING even REMOTELY similar to this in the entire run of Doctor Who? Why couldn't the Doctor do something like whip up a worm-whole that sucked up the Daleks and dropped them on the other side of the Universe keeping them alive but far away from other living things letting the Doctor keep an eye on them so they don't become a problem again; showing that the Doctor has a greater respect for life after making a bad decision that sacrificed two entire civilizations. But no, we have magic Rose and light-up eye effects and the Doctor regenerates and everyone is happy! BLECH
But all in all, I still loved the first series. We saw the 9th Doctor die in only one season, and trust me Christopher Eccleston could have done way more seasons; but I'm okay with it. The death of the 9th Doctor made sense, he was hurt, emotionally wounded, and very very tired. He'd lived through far more pain and toil than he ever thought he would and it totally made sense that he needed to regenerate. The character interactions with the new companion Rose were also very fresh and innovative. We've seen the Doctor pass through so many different companions over the years, but Rose was the first one that he fell in love with. We saw the reluctance of the Doctor to get close to anyone because of who he is and the terrible things he has done, but we felt the unavoidable connection between the two that inevitably drew them together.
We also watched as Rose had to contend with being split between her new love for the Doctor and the love she was sharing with a human boyfriend Mickey that she met before the Doctor. It was a sappy romantic triangle, but it was real, it was handled with grace and it didn't feel like an episode of 90210. It was grand! It was well crafted story telling that not only thrilled and entertained, but had a depth of humanity and emotion that gave the stories gravitas and elevated it beyond the typical science fiction television show...even despite a deus ex machina ending.
But that's the problem with success I guess; because once you get things so right, where do you go from there? Do you expand upon what you have built in the first season and take the series in new and bizarre directions to delight and entertain? No, for you see the first series made money; and in this day and age, if you make money, you get repeated. Again, and again, and again, and again, until the audience can't take it anymore and slowly dwindles away into the nothingness of low ratings that got the show canceled in the early 90's.
Now don't get me wrong, the second series started off pretty well. Rose stayed around as a companion to the new Doctor and even tried to love him in the same way that she loved the last Doctor. But it wasn't the same, he was a different person now, and she was too attached to the man he used to be and things didn't work out perfectly and Rose got dropped into an alternate reality where she could never reach the Doctor again. It was sad, tragic even, but it worked. It was real, it was emotional and it should have ended that way...but of course Rose needed to come back for the climax of the fourth series, only to be banished back to the alternate universe, again, but this time with a human-clone of the Doctor to live with so she doesn't need to be sad...Aww, how cute! I'd try to explain the ridiculous deus ex machina nature of that plot line too, but there is no where near enough room in this article.
Then comes the climax of the second series where...gasp...an alien species from the Doctor's past (this time the Cybermen and the Daleks who have inexplicably come back to life) again threaten the entire fabric of reality until the Doctor shows up and saves the day by waving a magic wand that sucks all the bad guys into a black hole...and...wait...this seems exactly like the ending of the first series...(cause it is.)
Then comes the third series where...shocker...the Doctor picks up a sexy, young, female companion that falls in love with him while events in the real world build up to a climactic battle between an enemy from the Doctor's past (this time the Master) and when everything seems lost, the Doctor activates the latent psychic power of all humanity by getting every human in the world to concentrate and clap their hands and really truly believe in the Doctor so he can get magical powers to save the day; really, this is how the ending happened, Davies ripped off Tinkerbell :-(
Then the fourth series...do I really need to go into it? I will say that the fourth series ties together all the work that Davies did on the Doctor Who series bringing back old characters old monsters, and more fan favourites from the past...but that's kind of my point. There's nothing new here. Old characters, old stories, inexplicable endings that happen mostly “because they need to”. It all just reeks of what's been done before and makes for some incredibly disappointing television.
So now we get to the fifth series, a new Doctor, a new series head-writer, a new chance to wow me and reattach a cynic to his childhood love. But what's this? The Doctor has a new female companion? She falls in love with him? She has to choose between her old dusty lover on Earth and the fantastic shiny new galaxy-hopping intergalactic lover from the stars? I can't even force myself to watch this anymore. I don't need to see the Doctor stealing other guys girlfriends any more. The fifth series is done now and wow...surprise of surprises it all built up to some climactic ending with a surprise villain from the Doctor's past and is solved in a completely inexplicable manner by getting someone who lives near the cracks of time to remember him fondly at the right moment so the Universe pops him back into existence...yeah that sounds suitably stupid and delivered from the powers of a God the Doctor probably doesn't believe in...how else could this crapfest end?
My greatest fear is that this train of unoriginal, lazy will continue until the Doctor has worn out his 12th life and that's all she wrote folks. Which is sad, because there have been many GREAT episodes written by non-staff writers, episodes like Blink, which was a one-off story that not only used a new alien the Doctor had never fought before, but also used modern non-linear story telling techniques to deliver a time-spanning epic of horrific sci-fi greatness! If only the producers in charge of Doctor Who can get their hands on some creative talents like this and then maybe some originality will seep back into this amazingly long lived series and give it the ending it truly deserves!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Video of the Day: The Greatest Drinking Song EVER!!
Apologies to Mr. Denis Leary and his wonderful comedy, but "The A**hole Song", while entertaining, never brought people together the way this song does. Sober, drunk, it doesn't matter! You hear any part of this song and you start singing along!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Video of the Day: Improv Everywhere Does "Star Wars - A New Hope"
(Via GeekWeek.com)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Most Hazardous Projectile Launcher Ever or "BOOM! Headshot!"
This is, hands down, the most awesome, geeky, deadliest and just plain kick-ass weapon I have ever seen! Just imagine what you could do with one of these! If (and when) the Zombie Apocalypse happens, I am gonna' get me one of these and stock up on ammo. And Twinkies.
Would it be wrong to laugh maniacally while firing this thing off at a horde of the undead? Hell no! In fact, it would probably make it way more fun.
(Via Unreality)
Monday, July 12, 2010
Scientists Create 'Liquid' Armor or "Crack Open A Can of Bulletproof Custard"
Scientists in the UK have created a new liquid that, when combined with kevlar (the stuff bullet-proof vests are made of), absorbs the kinetic energy of bullets, instantly becoming thicker and sticky, trapping the bullets. This 'bulletproof' liquid acts like custard, in that the molecules actually lock up and become resistant to any force directed against it.
What a concept! It's like in the "Blankman". All you have to do is soak your clothes in this stuff and you can be just like Damon Wayans and run around in your pajamas.
(Via bbc.co.uk)
NSFW Humor Chart or "Internet Jokes Can Get You Fired"
Ever felt the urge to share a YouTube video or a 'wacky' internet site with friends and co-workers? Did you ever consider the consequences of your actions?
Yeah, neither do I.
Sometimes, you can't tell how easily offended people are. For those times where you're not sure, use this handy chart modeled after the 'Terrorist Alert Rainbow' from the Department of Homeland Security.
(Via Geekologie)
Yeah, neither do I.
Sometimes, you can't tell how easily offended people are. For those times where you're not sure, use this handy chart modeled after the 'Terrorist Alert Rainbow' from the Department of Homeland Security.
You'll never have to worry about weird looks or canned laughter again. Of course, you needn't worry about offending me. I've seen such things. Evil, horrifying things. From Japan!
(Via Geekologie)
Friday, July 9, 2010
Video of the Day: "Firefly" Intro, 80s Style!
I love 80s TV (it practically raised me). And I love Joss Whedon's "Firefly". So, it goes without saying I loved this video. With graphics and music reminiscent of a classic 80s sci-fi show, this fan made vid rocks! Well done, sirs! I salute your work!
UPDATE: I never noticed Simon Tam/Sean Maher was not in the "Firefly" intro. It appears that he was spun off into his own show, "Simon Tam, M.D.", with his own colorful sidekicks and ne'er do wells.
'X-Men' Inspired Toilet For Sale or "Protecting A World That Had Mexican Food For Lunch"
First, the Star Wars 'Admiral Ackbar' toilet ("You Know You Want One"), now this. Using copies of the different 'variant' covers (a popular trend of the 90s) of "X-Men #1", an X-Acto knife and a LOT of glue, eBay user xenonouveau has created an amazing and somewhat bizarre expression of nerdy comic love and pop art in the 'Uncanny X-Toilet'!
He says that it probably would work if you hooked it up, but he wouldn't recommend it, as water would definitely ruin the interior. And why would you want to? This is art! Nerdy, obsessive, 'WAY too much spare time on his hands' art!!
It takes 'reading in the can' to a whole new level.
(Via GammaSquad)
Custome Made 'Omega Supreme' Transfomer or "I Know What I Want For Christmas, Mom"
I know what some of you are thinking. Who would want to spend $3000 (the min. bid on eBay) for this magnificent mass of plastic and 80s geek love?
Me. I would. Totally and with out reserve or thoughts about blowing 6 months worth of paychecks on this beautiful reminder of why I love the cartoons of my youth!
I gotta' get to the store and buy lottery tickets.
(Via GameInformer)
Bacon Flavored Ice Cream recipe or "BaconBaconBaconBaconBacon......"
There are few things I truly love in this world with no reservations. My family. Comics. Cheese puffs. And bacon. Oh, I love me some bacon! And I found a recipe for bacon flavored ice cream that brings out the mad scientist in me. Thank you, StumbleUpon!
I'ma head out to the grocery and get the ingredients as soon as I can. To paraphrase the classic film "Frankenstein", It's delicious, it's DELICIOUS!!! Bwahahahahahahahaha!
Bacon-Flavored Ice Cream
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Magnetic Silly Putty or "What The Venom Symbiote Is Made Of"
Seriously. This is hands down the coolest/creepiest thing I have seen in a while. This "Silly Putty 2.0" is made up of thousands of tiny magnets suspended in silicone rubber. The way it reacts to a magnet, I get chills!
It's like that alien symbiote that makes up Venom, one of my all-time favorite Spider-man villains!! Except for the homicidal rage and willingness to eat brains.
(Via OhGizmo!)
Prince Says The Internet Is Dead or "When Doves Can't Email"
Prince, His Royal Badness himself, has declared the Internet both 'dead' and 'completely over'.
In a recent interview with the UK website Mirror.co.uk, the man who gave us songs like '1999' and 'Little Red Corvette' compared the Internet to MTV, saying it "was hip and, suddenly, it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."
** phreak_711 takes deep breath & lets it out slowly.**
Okay. Here's what I think. While I respect the man's opinion (and he is certainly entitled to it) and have liked a lot of his music, I got to wonder if Prince has drank a little too much of the 'purple rain', if you get my meaning. If Prince thinks the Internet is dead, he probably also believes carrier pigeons are a more stable way to communicate. Decades from now, when our descendants listen to "Raspberry Beret", they'll transmit their thoughts to their Facebook page via the virtual Internet hub they have implanted in their frontal lobes. You can't put the genie back into the bottle, sir. The Matrix won't let you.
(Via Geekologie)
Monday, July 5, 2010
Video of the Day: 'Mortal Kombat - Annihilation' Trailer Redux
It's sad when a fan-made video is more impressive than the movie it represents. "Mortal Kombat - Annihilation" could have been a decent sequel, even with the re-casting of Raiden, Johnny Cage and Sonya Blade. I say 'could have', except for that sad fact it had all the production value of an episode of "Xena".
Saturday, July 3, 2010
American-Made 'Doctor Who' Film??? or " Oh HELL NO!"
There are rumors that an American made 'Doctor Who' film is to be made starring Johnny Depp as the Last Son of Galifrey. My reaction to this??
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(Via io9.com)
'Back to the Future' Is 25 Years Old This Weekend or "Roads?! Where We're Going, We Don't Need ... Roads!"
On July 3, 1985, a little movie called "Back to the Future" was released on the silver screen. Guided by the talent of Robert Zemeckis & Steven Spielberg, it was the first chapter in the story of Marty McFly and scientist Emmett "Doc" Brown and Brown's time travelling DeLorean. Marty travels back in time to the 1950's and disrupts his teenage parent's first meeting. What follows this somewhat simple premise is one of the best examples of pure '80s matinee movie magic and one of my favorite movies growing up!
I remember the first time I saw this movie. My dad had gone to the now defunct 'Movies R Us' store in Yorkton, SK and grabbed a bag full of movies (the ole' "7 Movies, 7 Days" deal, miss it!). I remember watching this movie and not once getting up or asking my parents a question. I was completely enthralled by the story, the special FX, and the music. I grew up being a huge fan of Michael J. Fox from "Family Ties" and Christopher Lloyd on "Taxi" and I jumped for joy when I saw they were in this flick. Of all the movies I say are my favorite, THIS movie is in my 'Top 5"! I'm not even kidding. I love this movie more than "Ghostbusters", "Batman" and "The Goonies" combined! I really do love this movie that much!
Do yourself a favor and rent or borrow this movie and watch it with your family and friends. If the music alone doesn't get you excited, you don't like movies!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Video of the Day: "The Avengers - Earth's Mightiest Heroes" Cartoon Series Trailer
MARVEL is giving another go at an animated series about their premiere super team, The Avengers, entitled "Avengers - Earth's Mightiest Heroes". It is not related to the abysmal late '90s cartoon, "Avengers - United They Stand", so thank God for that! Man, that one stank on ice. This one looks to based mainly on the original '60s line-up of the team. "Avengers - Earth's Mightiest Heroes" should debut sometime this fall in a multi-part online serial before the TV series begins.
Fingers crossed!
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