Monday, May 10, 2010

A Legend Falls....



For those that haven't heard, legendary (and I mean LEGENDARY) fantasy painter Frank Frazetta passed away after suffering a stroke while in hospital earlier today. He was always one of my favorite artists as a kid. I grew up reading back issues of "Conan the Barbarian" magazine. You know, the old over-sized black and white mag?! His art was both vibrant and dark, dynamic yet subtle. He worked his magic on Conan the Barbarian, Solomon Kane, Spider-man and Vampirella in many of the old school comic magazines published throughout the '70s and early '80s . His art brought to life stories of ancient gods and human heroes. Adventures that seemed all the more real because of his art. Mr. Frazetta was an artist, one of only a few that I would say is truly worthy of the title. You will be missed, sir.

The 'Science' In Science-Fiction or "Does It (Really) Matter How It Works?"

Ever wonder why stuff works in your favorite comic book or sci-fi movie? Have you ever thought "how does Captain America's shield always come back to him?" or "how are the Jedi able to move things with the Force?" I think about this stuff a lot. But when you read as much as I do and work a job where you are alone for hours ata time, you'd think a lot about this stuff too. Or about whether or not 'LOST' will make any sense at the end. It won't.

 A good friend of mine once explained that there are two scholls of thought on this and he did it using Star Trek and Star Wars. The science in Star Trek is explained using theoretical but explainable physics, like the Alcubierre drive mathematical model that provides the basis for the warp drive of the Enterprise. Now Star Wars goes the other way with it's science. It works because it does. No more, no less. Hell, flying in space is pretty much the same as flying in an atmosphere. How is this possible? Because it looks cool, that's why!

I personally subscribe to the Star Wars method: no explanation necessarily needed.  I like to think that such answers don't matter as long as the desired effect or outcome benefits the narrative by making the action seem that much more exciting. Why is Captain America able to throw 'his mighty shield' with such pinpoint accuracy that it can knock out every bad guy before ricocheting back to him? Because it goddamn does! What causes the Millennium Falcon (and every Star Destroyer in the Imperial Fleet) fly safely thru space and stop on a dime? The hyper-spatial framinflatz, for all I know. My point is that every Batarang thrown by Batman need not be explained. Suspension of disbelief not withstanding, whatever 'deus ex machina' or 'macguffin' is thrown at me doesn't matter, as long as it doesn't seem too unbelieveable.

Now, there are others who would argue that the science should be explainable. This line of thought says that the adamantium on Wolverine's skeleton should be breakable, as there is no such thing as a truly 'unbreakable' alloy. Using real science, there is no way to explain how Chewie or Han could fly their ship with such precision and NOT fly into a meteor storm. The science behind such popular concepts in fiction should be explainable, no matter how theoretical or fanatsical. Which is probably why Star Trek wins out in this particular arguement.

Who's right and who's wrong? Who can tell the difference? I can't. It either works or it doesn't. I just think that if looks cool, it doesn't seem too outlandish and makes some kind of sense (common or otherwise), it's all good! And, in the end, Captain America throws his shield like a pro, Spider-man swings like a monkey on a vine and the Falcon makes the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. Does it make sense? Hell no! But it sure looks cool, though!

                                                                                                      -- Phreak711

Friday, May 7, 2010

Stephen King's Dark Tower, a movie?!?

Hiah Authentic Geeks, I've got some cool, but scary news for you...

I stumbled across an article on the net that promises the following:
"Stephen King’s masterful fantasy series “The Dark Tower” is headed for theaters. As part of a deal being worked on at Universal (but not yet completed) the seven books which comprise the Dark Tower story will be condensed into three movies, in a script written by Akiva Goldsman and to be directed by Ron Howard."


Now, if you're like me and a Stephen King fan, then you'll definitely know the Dark Tower and the scope of this massive work.  The series stars Roland, the last Gunslinger, on his quest to find the Dark Tower in a world that has "moved on"; think post-apocalyptic but in a magical/mystical way where time and space bends, mutants roam vast deserts, and society has reverted to an almost feudal state.  Dark Tower is Stephen King's magnum opus, it combines nearly every story element he's ever played with over his entire career, it's a truly epic story; and it's entertaining beyond belief.   


But as was mentioned, Dark Tower is SEVEN books long, SEVEN.  Not only that, but each book, except the first one, tops off at a minimum of 500 pages with two of the novels topping 700 pages for a whopping total of 3712 pages for the entire series!!!  Now for anyone out there like me who has ever seen a movie that has been made from a book or book series you know the simple fact: BOOKS ARE ALWAYS BETTER THAN MOVIES.  This is not movie's fault, it just cannot be helped.  Books can take SO MUCH time to tell their stories, they have absolutely no time restrictions, they can be as massive as they want, while movies top off at about a 3 1/2 hours maximum before audiences start to get antsy; unfortunately, this in no way compares to the average length of a book.


So far, the only director to take a massive book series and make a decent film-adaptation has been the amazing Peter Jackson and his epic remakes of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy.  But Tolkien's books were not only smaller, contained lots of descriptions which can edited from the movie with good cinematography, but also had one film per book; and Jackson STILL was not able to put everything he wanted into the cinema releases of his films, even though each one topped the 3 hour range.  


Now Ron Howard, an incomparable director in his own right, wants to attempt to condense seven much larger books into a movie trilogy?  It just won't work, there's absolutely no way it could happen and still be anywhere near as satisfying as King's books, even if each film was 4 hours long! However, there are rumours that if the films do well then there will be a television series that follows the film series, this could be a saving grace because a good television series can last as long as a good novel and the films could cover the first two or three novels and let the television series finish off the book series.  Sadly, it doesn't look like this will be the case as King is currently writing an 8th Dark Tower novel that deals with events and characters that do not happen or appear in the first seven novels and it is not currently known if the television series will cover this novel or new material all together.


Ultimately, I feel this is bad news; wicked-bad.  Looking back at the history of movies and other media, movies have an incredible knack for KILLING their adaptive counterparts when the movies flop.  Judge Dredd was one of the best selling of Britain's 2000 A.D. comics until Stalone killed it with his horrible adaptation.  The Mask tells a similar story with Jim Carey.  Even films like the original Star Wars trilogy have been nearly ruined by their recent unplanned prequel events.  In short, these films threaten to take Stephen King's most worth while novels and bury them under a sea of cinematic crap that could ultimately destroy one of the best adventure/fantasy series in existence.  DON'T DO IT RON!!! LET THE MOVIES DIE PLEASE!!!!!!!!! - Big G -


Original article: http://cinemablend.com/new/Ron-Howard-Will-Turn-Stephen-King-s-The-Dark-Tower-Into-A-Movie-Trilogy-18354.html

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Geek Sightings #2: Alexander The Great Is A Power Ranger?!?

If you are a guy and a nerd, you love watching Spike TV's "Deadliest Warrior". They match up great warriors from history (Ninja vs Pirate, anyone??) and then scientifically work out who would win in a fight. Once again, while I was watching the new episode, I geeked out a bit (just a little, mind you) when I saw Jason Faunt (Wes the Red Ranger from "Power Rangers Time Force") portraying Alexander the Great against Atilla the Hun.



Now, I was of course rooting for the Red Time Force Ranger to win. Not because he was a Power Ranger, but because he was portraying Alexander the Great, the dude who redefined 'strategic warfare'. Even though the Hun annihilated Alexander, I thought it was pretty cool a Power Ranger was playing him. I mean if Jason David Frank (Tommy the Green Ranger) can become a MMA fighter (no, seriously, he is!), then it's not that far a stretch for Mr. Faunt to portray one of the greatest conquerors in history!

Geek Sightings #1: Power Rangers Command Center Now Church



           Last night, I finally got around to watching the latest episode of "The Mentalist", one of my favorite shows on TV right now! The episode featured a church/cult, whose HQ looked mighty familiar to the Super-Sentai fan boys out there. I had no idea (NONE!) that this was a real building. It's called the "House of the Book", which is really a futuristically designed building on the Brandeis-Bardin Campus of American Jewish University. This building has been used by a lot of TV shows and movies over the years. You can see it in "Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny", Marilyn Manson's "Dope Show" music video and "The Lawnmower Man". And, of course, the "House" was used as the Power Rangers headquarters from "Mighty Morphin' " thru "Power Rangers Turbo". Who knew?

Humble Indy Gaming Bundle

Hey there all you Authentic Geeks,

Here's some breaking news that's only gonna be fresh for one week.  A promotional/charity group  calling itself the Humble Indy Gaming Bundle has released a bundle of independent gaming's latest, greatest, block busters consisting of World of Goo, Aquaria, Lugaru, Penumbra, and Gish.  But here's the best part, this wonderful bundle of joy is being offered for "pay what you want", meaning you could pay $1,000,000,000 or you could pocket these jems with a hot little five-fingered discount.

I've only played World of Goo myself, but let me tell ya, this game is most worthy of your attention and a fair chunk of your time.  World of Goo is a puzzle game obsessed with Goo-balls.  The object of World of Goo is to collect as many Goo-balls as you can by building and manipulating amazing teetering towers with other, specialized Goo-balls.  All of this Goo-ball mayhem is wrapped in a superfluous, yet surprisingly engaging story about a society that destroys itself over an all consuming lust for Goo-balls, youth, and power; sound familiar?  Maybe not yet...

I cannot recommend these games highly enough, they are amazingly fun and being offered free of charge! This is not only an enormous act of gratitude on the part of the game developers, but if you decide to donate, you can choose to divide your donation between the developers and two different charities: Child's Play, a charity devoted to bringing toys and games to children's Hospitals across America; and the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a website devoted to helping "John Q. Public" protect themselves and their information on the net.  You can even give your entire donation to charity if you want!

http://www.wolfire.com/humble

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Batman Does Adult Art Film

         I honestly cannot believe I hadn't heard of this 'til now, but they have made a porno parody movie of the Adam West "Batman" TV series! Seriously, here's the trailer. (Totally safe for work, but probably should not be viewed by anyone who is offended by the 'nut-shot' videos on "America's Funniest Home Videos". And YES, those people do exist.)



          Sweet Zombie Jesus, words fail me. I can't believe the production value of this thing. I mean, just look at the trailer. The attention to detail, from the car to costuming to Randy Spear's make-up covered mustache (ala Caesar Romero), is so spot-on, it's frightening! I can't help but wonder if the producer had West or Ward by the set to consult. And just in case Warner Bros./DC Comics have their lawyers laying in wait ......